The beginning of an ending

•December 1, 2011 • Comments Off on The beginning of an ending

It is almost the end of 2011, as another year has gone by.
I look back on my last post, words elude me as I begin to think how silly I always am.

So much has happened since.

I began a new relationship, it may have started off as a little rocky but things are good right now.
I’m still trying hard as ever to keep things right and not make the same mistakes I’ve done before.
I try to better myself as a person, looking back at all I’ve learned.

This year was supposedly supposed to be my bad year, but honestly… It was fuckin’ great.
I’ve done so many things I wanted to do, and believe or not… I went SKYDIVING. Yes. Motherfucking skydiving!
Something I would probably never even plan on doing in my life, and I did it.
All thanks to Ricky Eng.
I feel like I ventured out of my little shell because of him.
Let me tell you, the experience is unforgettable. Not to mention that he took me on Valentine’s Day.

We went to EDC 2011 which was held in Las Vegas, and aside from that… We probably went to Vegas over a handful of times!
SO many roadtrips, he took me everywhere. It’s been well over a decade since I last went to Disneyland, and that happened on Ricky’s birthday which landed on Labor Day weekend. He drove me to socal on my birthday so I can celebrate with my friends… The list is really never-ending and I will never forget.
I have experienced so many new things this year, and that is what I love about Ricky. He might be afraid at first, but he has this, “fuck it” attitude and he’s down for anything, and I really need someone like that to explore the boundaries with me.
Being with him makes me want to better myself, so we can both be happy and continue on our journeys.

I will not mention any of the bumps in the road that we have ran into, but seeing how he changed… I really need to give him credit.
I’ve been having a really hard time coping lately, and just dealing with it that sometimes I feel like I need help… advice. I know he’s there to aid me but I just need to make an effort to let it go. – But I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do…

I feel super old now. 2012 is the year of the dragon and I really, really want a DRAGON BABY. My mom is a dragon, I’m a dragon and I really want a dragon of my own. It’s only fitting :) Not to sound psycho or anything, but I can really see it working out.
I’m just not sure if I’m ready for that kind of responsibility yet. I love my freedom, and I feel that having a baby will just tie me down. But we’ll see. I guess I can have my last baby as a dragon baby when I’m a old hag at 36 years old. Blah.

No plans for the end of the year, really. A cirque du soleil show this Friday, TOTEM! Aiming to watch all of the shows. That’s on my bucket list. (NOTE TO SELF : MAKE BUCKET LIST!!!) So far I’ve watched Mystère and Quidam. I really want to watch “O” !

I’m really looking forward to 2012, because it’ll be my year to shine.
No joke, I really need to get shit poppin’.
Cheers to the new year.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

•January 17, 2011 • Comments Off on Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

So many things have changed. For better and for worse.

Things finally ended with Brandon, and honestly… I believe I really needed it. I feel like so much weight have been lifted off my shoulders.
I don’t know why I finally accepted the fact that we were over and decided to let go, I was really going down in every way possible being with him. We really hit rock bottom and I’m sorry it had to come to that. I’m sorry things didn’t work out like I had hoped they would. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I still miss him but I realized what I missed was just a memory. I’m really glad he’s happy. I’m glad I got closure. I truly loved him for the person he was and I will always cherish the memories we’ve had.

I know I told myself 2011 was going to be a better year, but my actions come with consequences and it finally bit me in the ass. Didn’t think I’d ever get in trouble and I really don’t know how to deal but life goes on? I’m so glad for the people I have in my life that are there for me, I love you guys so so much. :)

I’ve learned not to wait for people anymore, time is precious and if you’re hurting while waiting… It’s not worth it. I’ve always had to learn everything the hard way. Never waste anyone’s time…
I also realized how much honesty matters to me. How people are so fragile… How people are able to do wrong. PLEASE Treat people how you want to be treated.

I promise…

•September 8, 2008 • Leave a Comment

So it seems that after being together for awhile, couples that are luckily in love begin to entertain the idea of presenting each other with “promise” rings. It’s a cute concept I guess… but I’ve always wondered what they are promising each other for.

This girl I know of and her fiance had a promise ring. I did the typical “aww… that’s cute” gestures, then asked them what it meant for them to exchange rings. He said, “I don’t know… that we’d be together for eternity? That we’ll love each other regardless?”
… Regardless of what?! Would she still love you regardless of how you treat her? How about if you have an affair? Because I know he did cheat on her while wearing the promise ring. Does that not defeat the purpose?


Some pretty lame promises I’ve heard before were…

  • I promise to love you forever.
    (bullshit. there is no “FOREVER” nowadays. so will you still love me forever if i dump you… forever?)
  • I promise we’ll get married one day.
    (how do you KNOW that? what if i don’t want to marry YOU?)
  • I promise to be a good boyfriend.
    (oh really? i didn’t know that being a good boyfriend consisted of spending the night at your ex’s house and end up kissing her?) 

    Even some simple promises like…

  • I promise I’ll come to the BBQ and give you the Stitch I bought you.
    (like seriously, if a simple promise like that can’t even be kept… the world must be ending.)

Thanks.. but no thanks.
Those empty promises are all too vague.
I’ve learned the hard way to realize that any type of promise can be a flimsy one so I try not to make promises that I know I can’t keep myself.
I still search for someone who can keep a simple promise, and I know I can’t find them if I give up looking.

I think more practical promises would be…

  • I promise I won’t be a jealous boyfriend and let you have your space.
  • I promise to WANT to watch the dishes.
  • I promise to give you the BEST make-up sex of your life after every fight we have.
  • I promise you’ll always be right. Therefore, to admit that I was a jerk for starting every argument here on out.
  • I promise that as long as we’re together, I will not stick my penis where it does not belong.
  • I promise to try and make you smile when you’re having a bad day.
  • I promise to shun every girl you don’t like. (haha, just kidding! … i think)
  • I promise to never let our relationship get boring.
  • I promise to compromise.

As for me, if I were to promise my boyfriend anything, it’d be to try and not to smack the living daylight out of him when he’s pissing me off, regardless of how much I want to.
That’s a pretty legit promise, don’t you think?

I can’t wait til I get my promise ring. =]
I remember my friend asked me about engagement rings and if I wanted a big one or not…

The 3 musketeers and their black penis.

•August 23, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Stanley, Shawn and David’s birthday dinner was tonight at TGIF.
The whole night was kind of kick back.
Ended up meeting up homsuplo, his girl and grandpa at Mel’s Diner.
Sabrina bought some chocolate penis cake from Castro for the 3 musketeer’s and I convinced them to each take a bite from the cake. Shawn ended up taking a bite from the testicles covered with coconut sprinkles. (Will post pictures up later.)

Went karaoke after dinner.
Finally, Stanley and David agreed to smoke up, and we did just that.
Lazy day today…

and Hi Zulle. I know you’re reading. =]


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